Leaving childhood behind......

Let me tell you, I don't think you ever get over it. Sure there are things that are cool about being older, but the younger years do hold a certain something in them. Ha, I make complete sense. Life as a child you are mostly oblivious and care free. You spend your days laughing, eating, sleeping, playing, etc--you live day to day and look forward to b-days and holidays (or getting together with friends). When you get older you don't live so much day to day. More like you look forward to things you will be able to do in time to come. You either live in the past or the future....some hardly ever live in the present. You become more aware of what is around you and the more you understand and know, the more life becomes....not sure what word I'm looking for. Yes, life has it's perks and it's not all bad, but for me the time in between childhood and coming up on being an 'adult' was a tough one. Mostly because of the changes mentally, but depression and OCD run in the family, so it's no wonder. As for the physical changes they were just slightly annoying at first and some still are. Haha, and then for some it doesn't really have to change much and there's not much of a transition. You don't have to leave everything behind from childhood--like your attitude towards life. Anyway, this thing is seriously long....for replying to someone else's blog.
~I hope you never lose your sense of wonder..."

Mornin!

So, I absolutely love the mornings! It's still dark outside, but that can be overlooked. But just the peace about the house, ahh. I can totally understand why those old men come out with a news paper or whatever they are reading and sometimes their coffee, and just sit and read first thing in the morning. Haha, where did the old men come from right? Well, mornings like this remind me of the times I've spent the night at granny's house. Both my grandparents get up at insane hours of the morning, but they are fond memories. Waking up at 6 or 7 and going out in the living room where they are drinking their coffee and reading or talking quietly. Or if all else fails grandma is conked out in her chair with her book forgotten in her lap. I always liked mornings like those, though I guess it happened more often when we used to live with them in Hillsboro. Anyway, I'll enjoy it while I can. So, today I am going to go to school and then to work. I don't work long today so the rest of the day is free to do whatever I want. Which unfortunately I have nothing planned. Ah well, we will see what I can come up with. Wow, tomorrow is the 1st of November!!!! Sweet! Can't wait till December, then the term ends!! Ha I should probably get going, I need to get ready for the day and unless I want the morning to be a bad morning.....yeah. So, I'll catch up later.....
~Raindrops keep falling on my head...."

Let's see if this works.....

Alright, we will see if this works. Goodness knows it took longer than I thought it would, but anyway. All I can think of right now is 'what a day'. Really nothing to exciting happened--though I did stay home. Got to sleep in (which was nice), got up, looked up jobs on craigslist (not only for here). Talked to Leah, which is always a good thing to do. Went outside to clean up the yard and that took about 2 hours, took a shower, did more chores, slept, went shopping with Cindy for about 2 more hours and then came back home. So there is the outline, but let me back up to the beginning. Ah! I don't know. Earlier I talked to Leah, she gets fed up with me a lot these days. Well, first there was the patience issue--I don't have much for her lately and then there is the attitude she thinks I have of being better than her. I'll admit that I don't have much patience for her anymore because (as I told her) I don't like to see someone I was so close to say that she is unable to do certain things, give up, and not help herself. Though I guess I wont go into to much detail on that whole thing--just in case someone wants to read this. As for the second thing she acused me of, that is absolutely not true. I don't know, I could recount the whole thing, but I think I wont. The day from there went fine--we got things straightened out and were on good terms again after talking for a while. Did our chores, hung out together, went shopping. Haha, shopping with Cindy is like shopping with our mom (and you wonder why I like to sit in the car, sometimes). It was nice getting out of the house anyway. I guess what kind of got me down tonight was that we came home and went from being around someone that was happy, to two parents that were down in the dumps. Don't get me wrong, I know life can't always be great, but I was hoping the end of the day would have been happier. Mom and dad are worried about money, taxes, credit cards, etc. That's mostly why I want to go to school and get a good job; so I don't have to worry about money as much as they do. So, Leah went to bed early and I decided to look into getting a second journal, though it's not private--I don't think many people will read it anyway. It's nights like these where I feel trapped sometimes, not just because of these little things, but things just add up. It's the atmosphere or the feeling of the house. Usually I am a happy joy joy, spunky, hyper person, but not always. Wow, there is so much I could say, but how much do I really want to releave on this thing? It's not gonna get any better from here--I should actually read and go to bed. Things usually look....better when I've slept.
~Don't let your heart get heavy....."