Sunday.....

I'm going to update! Not that anyone cares, just keeping up with things. So, I started school in September--massage therapy which takes two years. The work load is keeping me busy, but I'm getting more comfortable with the schedule as I continue. Other then that, there really is nothing new. If I wrote for every day on every detail then this thing would be a whole lot longer, but seeing as there really is no point in this thing anymore--I keep it short. The one thing I dislike about this month is the cold weather is setting in and it's just going to get worse :-(. Oh well, gives me an excuse to buy more coats :-P. Well, we have company over, so I should get going.......
~What must I do?"

Ah man!.......

Well, for the sake of nothing else to do and trying to avoid people at the moment I am in my room doing this. I picked Leah up yesterday from the airport, went on a bike ride, had friends come over, and watched the rest of a movie. Not in that order. It's nice to have Leah back home--though her time so far is spent sleeping and talking to a guy from the south. Ha, and just to think, she used to get on my case all the time for talking to a guy and not her. I leave well enough alone--as long as she doesn't take up space in my room. Dad is once again gone for the week, but this time in Klamath Falls. Mom had a brilliant idea and decided to invite the Tocis' and Rich over to make salsa. I think I'll go ride my bike again and find a good book. Need I say, not to social today? I guess the big thing that has been on my mind is be careful what you say--never know when it might have a negative effect on someone else. Or how you act. Yes, I've had both happen recently and I was the recipient. I hate that when all is said and done-the other person who has done whatever or said, has completely forgotten about it and I'm still sitting here with a bad taste in my mouth (so to speak). Yeah I know, move on and forget about it, but some things run deeper then the often petty insults. Ah, oh well--guess I should just talk to the person. So, anyway, I should probably read or something--clear my head. I'll get back to ya'll later....
~You tred on dangerous ground...."

Oh right.......

OKAY, for all of you who don't read this, great! Lol, so we went to convention and man did it go fast! Kind of starting to like Saginaw actually. Can't believe it's over though and we have another year to wait for it to come around again. I'll be 20 years old by then, yikes! Well let's see, I'm looking forward to school and work (if I don't get into one class though I have to wait till winter term, hopefully not the case), get togethers that are coming up, and Hawaii (hopefully) in January for 2 weeks!!!!! Can you say "to much time"? Ha, way to pass the days. So, Leah is in Alaska till next Monday and dad is going to be in Lakeview till Friday, so it's just me and mom holding down the fort. Oh joy, heh. Other then all that....I did have a lot to say earlier this morning, but now I got nothin. Reading another good book, not inspiring, but a good read and another fairytale love. Haha, don't you just hate those? Mom was trying to set me up at convention, lol way to be. Staying in the tent with Heidi, Jerry, and Tom was fun though. Late night chats, group dates to the bathroom--all part of the convention experience. Ummmm...........right. So, I have nothing else that is coming to mind at the moment so I shall catch ya'll later.
~When you find you, come back to me..."

Yup...

I don't see the point in actually writing on this thing anymore, but for those of you that keep up with it, I shall try to make it :-P. Anyway, things haven't really changed all that much. I'm all healed up on the outside, now the inside has to catch up, but I am doing good. Only got to work four days and then it's the end of the summer term, so I wont have work till the fall term :-(. I'm looking forward to school and being somewhat busy. Conventions are coming up fast and I am super excited about that! This next weekend we (me, mom, and Leah) are going to Portland for my grandpa's birthday, so we'll get to see a lot of family!! Leah is going to Alaska to visit our grandparents from the 4th of September to the 14th (lucky!) and yeah. Other then that, I can't think of much at the moment. Had a lot of fun last night going to the volleyball gtg. Didn't play of course, but I got to talk to friends. Out of all the sports known to man, I hate volleyball the most, though I suppose that since that is the only game that the friends like to get together and play--I maybe should suck it up and really learn how to play and be somewhat decent at it. Reading a good book which is somewhat inspiring in its own way, but I guess it would depend on who you are. It's kind of nice to be getting some enthusiasm back for life and the things in it. Anyway, I've run out of things to say, so be seeing you :D
~The solitude experienced while running helps me enjoy people more when I am around them..."

Another day in paradise

Ok, soooo......today I started working again in the library. Thankgoodness I can sit for some of the time. Couldn't find anything good to eat at home so by the time I'm done here my stomach will be a shriveled grape, wonderful. Well, let's see--the Kings came to visit and I exhausted myself trying to keep up, but it was nice to see them again. The weather is seriously hot! Though for the last two nights there have been thunder and lightning storms, which are great! We went to the fair this last weekend and got there when it started pouring down rain. So we met up with the Maricles and hung out in the sheep barn after making a mad dash to get there. Lights went out and we were watching the rain. "This must be what it felt like to be on the ark." I was looking around at the stalls and such with the animals, but Frank took it another way, lol--"Yeah, it sucks!" haha, guess it would....But anyway, the rain finally stopped and we walked around and sat down to talk and scope out potential, lol, joking. The rodeo was canceled, but we went the next day when it was seriously to hot to really sit outside and socialize. I don't know how people in places with 120 degree weather can stand it! Then the other night we had another thunder and lightning storm. So I sat in my room on my bed with the laptop to keep me occupied, while mom, dad, and Rich stood/sat on the porch watching it all. At one point all three of them were standing outside my window looking in. I was eating at the time--"Ooo, she's hungry." "Ain't she perdy?" "Wow, look at the storm". Lol, weird to be the object of interest. But anyway, just been keeping busy with cleaning the house, reading, writing, trying to hang out with friends, and talking on the phone. Now it's back to work and bringing in a little money. Much needed! Conventions are in about 3 weeks I think, so I am looking forward to that. And then going to Portland to see relatives--not sure when exactly in the next couple weeks...THEN back to school and a crazy work load. Oh boy, other then that--yeah.
~I don't know if we all have a destiny....or we're just floating along accidental like on a breeze..."

Another day

Alright well, I should be doing something other then this, but that is the way it goes. I don't feel like getting up right now. Apparently everyone has umm....disappeared on this thing. Ah well, my phone is dying. SO--dang, I should have checked to see what was going on in the last post I wrote, but I guess things are basically the same. I've been getting better and walking around more. Mom is thrilled to have more help--when I do help that is. Feeling more like myself which is a good thing, have my ups and downs, but nothing to big. Lets see, this weekend our friends from Alaska are coming down to visit, like they do most every summer (we'll see what the heck we're doing this time around). Larea moved in for about a week and a half before she decided that she was going to spend another year in Bend and got an appartment. Lol, probably couldn't stand us is all :-P. Hmm.....what else is there? Oh, some of our cousins from Texas--that we have never met--are wanting to get together. We haven't seen my dad's brother and his wife and kids for about 11 or so years, maybe more. We never did see the kids, so that will be something. Let's see--mentally, doing good, physically getting better, spiritually--standing still. It's amazing how things and perspectives can change after you go through tough experiences. After having everything from last month happen, it's taken a bit to actually start caring about certain things again. But anyway, better do something productive
~Some things are taken out of our lives for a reason"

My life continued...

If you want to know specific details ask. But anyway, lets see.....at the beginning of the month I had two surgeries and am doing better now. I can get around easier, just don't ask me to hike or walk much. Get tired easily, but anyway. This summer is going to be pretty chill. Gonna start working again at the library part time in July sometime--sweet savings, ha. Other then that, helping out around the house, getting back into driving! and who knows what else. Try to get a tan on this seriously pasty skin. Can't wait to go to conventions!!! But the next one is Saginaw, so I got a ways to go. One of my uncles is planning a family thing in July and there's a great movie coming out then. I know I shouldn't like 'em, but it's a great source of entertainment right now. Kind of getting old, but what can you do? Hmmm....other then that, going back to school hopefully in the fall. Just have to get into one class and then I can take the rest of them. Just hope the waiting list isn't to long. If that doesn't work out maybe I'll get another job and who knows. Saving up to get a car, I know--finally. Don't start breathing down my neck just yet! Umm.....can't wait till I really heal up and can do stuff again without being limited. Yep, that's about all I can think of really. So, there is the monthly update--I know, fascinating. :-P
~Where have you been, my long lost friend?

Morning :-P

Ok, so--writing, not so much my thing these days. I am beginning to keep to myself more, it works out. Anyway, I didn't get the job at the Old Mill, but that is alright (they didn't want to hire someone that was going to be gone for a month or more). Though I still have the job at the college and plenty of house and yard work to keep me busy--not to mention other people's yards. Well, hmmm, what could I go off about? Leah has been having an interesting time lately, but if you want to know her life ask her. I don't think she would want me broadcasting her life. So for those of you who haven't seen her lately or heard from her she is doing ok for the most part. She's also looking at different job options and since she got her surgery they say that she can't go into the army, but she says she is going to march back there and demand.....well something. Other then that, well, ask her. Anyway! Life has it's ups and downs, it's interesting from time to time, I am just rambling trying to find something to say. Well, I could go off on some things, but I think I am going to get to bed, so I'll catch all ya later

HELLO!!

Yeah, been a while, look at me go! So, why on earth am on inside on a day like today? One, I'm going out in a minute, two--had the itch to write, and three--there is no three. Quite a bit has changed since the last time I wrote. Been keeping up in my journal only. Well, about the whole job thing, I now have my job at the college back and I may be getting a job at the Old Mill theater downtown--depending on a few things. Mom had to kick my butt out the door to get more applications, but it actually worked out well this time. Yeah yeah, I know what you all hear--I hear it to much too. If you try hard enough then things will turn out. Yada yada, same old crum all the time. It's kind of two sided isn't it?? So, there is the whole work thing. Other then that I have been home trying to be motivated about house work and it's kind of difficult. You know how that goes right? Been reading books a lot more and driving, walking the butte at night, etc. There's one thing I'm bankin on, but I haven't told anyone about it--but we'll see what happens. Hmmm.....all the other interesting stuff is probably unmentionable :-P, life as of now is just peachy, still planning a lot of things and just waiting till I can actually act on them. As is usual for my posts these days, this is going to be another short one. Stay cool all, catch ya later
~Coming to a cross roads huh?

Update.....

Alright, so it has been a while since I even thought of trying to write on here. Nothing really new has been going on (though yeah, I give my closer friends more details). Still looking for a job, not going to school till fall term or in the summer--depends, leaving town today to go to the cabin trip thing--should be fun, and yeah. As I said not a whole lot. If you are lucky enough you don't hear the details and me rambling on and on. Gotta love it. I've learned how to drive a 5 speed better and I have been writing mostly in my journal. That is why there is absolutely nothing on here. Plus nothing is really coming to mind right now, so I think I will head out anyway. Toodles!
~It's a small world after all....."

Here's a paper I wrote, check it out and by all means give me feed back.....

Unspoken Rules of the Girls Public Bathrooms

The public bathroom, like all places, can be a very social place as well as a place to be avoided. Between the long lines that seem to wind down the hall to your talkative neighbor constantly complaining about some tirade that is clouding her life, what could be more frustrating—and amusing? Not to mention the frantic girl close to the back of the line doing a small jig trying to wait her turn and hopefully make it to a stall in time. Reminding you all the while of the small children that have stood in line doing what they call a potty dance as they desperately clutch onto the hand of their parents (as well as their crotch) waiting patiently with a slight look of fear that they might not be able to hold it after all. Hoping beyond hope that those darn potty training skills come in handy. All these are cause for much interest as well as a huge amount of annoyance as you wait your turn.

By all means, who wouldn’t want to stand in a huge line? Chatting to strangers and friends while your bladder feels as if it might burst if the idiots before you don’t hurry up. I mean, how long should it take. Get in, get out, and please wash your hands before you exit. But of course there’s the casually slow walk toward the stall, all the while talking to one of your friends, laughing hysterically like there’s no one else in the room. Annoyance flares as girls slowly take their time, feet tapping, aimlessly trying to draw attention away from that soda that is threatening to…well you get the picture. The point is it is far to long of a wait.

Finally one of the toilets will flush as well as the rest, seemingly synchronized, as if they had planned the whole thing in advance. Girls crowd out of the stalls, so that more can take their place, only to stand crowded in front of the mirror.

In a fraction of a second the make-up is flipped out of purses, hair is being fixed, and teeth are being checked. If all else fails the girls turn back to their friends to talk more about their boyfriends or whatever else pops into their minds. All the while those who had planned the simple get in, get out, and exit plan I mentioned before are stuck waiting behind all these talkative chits. One of the girls shriek as she pokes herself in the eye with her mascara stick, while another shoves through the crowd finally being able to wash her hands and silently wondering if she was the one that accidentally bumped the girl with the mascara. Who at the moment is frantically rubbing her eye, as it turns red from irritation.

Now as you stand in line for the girls around the sink to disperse you become vaguely aware of how fast the bathroom is filling up with more occupants. People push and shove to get past you, trying as before to either get to a stall or vacate the premises. And on the rare occasion, you get smacked in the back of the head with a door you realize shouldn’t be able to swing that way.

Finally emerging from that horrid fiasco of pushing and shoving and the sudden attack of the door, you come to the hall that is not so over crowded (though sometimes not much better).

Overall don’t be one of these people. Please stand in line and wait your turn, talk as much as you like, dance for all I care, but when a stall opens please do not precede at a snails pace to get there. Remember there are others that are more desperate than you and would very much appreciate your place in line. And should I mention, do not, I repeat DO NOT sit down on those porcelain seats--unless of course you don’t mind the appearance of some mysterious rash some weeks later. But hey, why listen to me right? It’s a risk you can take.

As before please make haste. Wash your hands and please get out. Your make-up looks fine, your hair hasn’t changed in the last class, and unless you’ve eaten something in the last five or so minutes I doubt there will be anything in your teeth. So unless there is a dire emergency that involves many tears and running mascara, I suggest that you leave before you get hit with the door that may be swinging your way.

Wednesday........

So, another week is going by, well what to say? I wrote on Saturday, not to exciting. I did accidentally get my hair in the paint on Saturday so I had some nice new highlights :-P. Other then that, Sunday, went to both meetings and mom had friends over. After gospel meeting Heidi and I went out for tea and caught up with each other a bit. Sorry Frank, weren't included in our social uh...outing :D. Anyway, I've been getting back to jogging and by the afternoon I'm always zonked, but it feels good anyway. Not the temperature outside though. Also been practicing driving the manual and finally got the hang of it, woot! So, now mom has me driving to quite a few places. Well, since I don't hear from many people in the day--my life has hit a lull. Sure I've been looking for a job, running mom around, doing house chores, and whatever else I can find to do, but still. The thought crossed my mind that I am so glad we have something to look forward to and to build towards other then this world. It would certainly be a bleak prospect if we only had this world to live for. But anyway, I will continue when I have something to say, tootles!
~What's this life for?"

To paint or not to paint.....

Alright well I finally got my room painted--well mom helped out a lot too. Now I am ready to be FAR away from all people for the rest of the day. Unfortunately mom got on a cleaning kick. That is basically all my day consisted of: waking up, painting, sitting, painting some more, getting my room put back together, playing the piano, and now this. Sweet I know. I so badly want a JOB! Other then that, life is getting a little less complicated.
~Some where out there...."

Come one come all........

Right so, I haven't written in a while, but I'm pretty sure you all wouldn't not want to dive into my chaotic thoughts right now. Yeah, I'm gonna say, life is a bit interesting at the moment. I have been looking for a job, buying a bunch of stuff, trying to keep busy, talking on my phone a lot, trying to get my room ready to paint (might as well just get the job done), getting used to being around mom and her ever changing moods, and trying to get the hang of driving again. Not that I did much of that before anyway. Anyway, on the whole job thing--I turned in quite a few applications and still have yet to hear back from any of them. I turned in an app. at the public library and found out that they got 189 applications besides mine. So, my chances are slim to none. Craigslist is where I am trying to keep up to speed. But there are definitely jobs out there that aren't mentioned. I will keep you all posted all for the sake of keeping posted, just so then I don't have to answer that all the time ;-). Buying stuff is pretty self explanatory. Trying to keep busy isn't to hard, the guys seem to do that. Talking on my phone a bunch--well I could be totally honest, but who knows who would look at this. Let me tell ya, one guy shows up and then the rest follow. If you have anything to ask, shoot away or give me a good talking to, lol. And then I am painting my room cause mom wants me too. Though once again things are changing for me.....oh boy
Hey Frank, if you want to get together I will give you CD's to rip :-P there insentive. Then you can say you wanted the CD's not getting together ;-) hahaha
~Do you know...."

That is how it goes.....

I have been home for almost a week, for those of you who don't know. I decided that Montana was not the place I wanted to live. Yes, I did meet some great people, but that was not what I was looking for at the moment--moving I mean. So, I am back at home looking for a job and signing up for college classes, though only a few because I want to get a full time job in order to get a car. My life isn't to exciting right now, but that is ok. I really don't have much to say right now, so ciao...
~what is it you cherish?"

Lack of internet.....

Alright well, I am at the Jacobsen's because we have no internet at our place. Let's see....what happened this last weekend. Well, Valentines weekend.....Shawna and her sister went on a double date with their boyfriends and we just pretty much hung out for the rest of the time. Things have gotten better, but I have decided on what I want to do. I've been cleaning a lot, trying to keep things in order, learned how to pump gas, and so on. Talking to alot of people, meeting some really nice ones here and there. I guess I don't really have much to report on, but just thought I would check in. So, I will talk with everybody later....
~Somethings in life never change and some things do..."

Back to reality......

Ok, don't know when the last time I blogged was, but here is this one. Still same old same old, though I've been talking to a lot of people back home. Leah is out of the hospital and doing better, we now can actually have intelligent conversations, ha. Dad found out that he is going to get laid off sooner rather then later, so everyone is holding their breath till March 1st to see what the verdict is. Hope it doesn't go to bad. Went to meeting last night and met a lot more people--they had drinks and cupcakes afterward. I don't think they have many get togethers around here, so they try to fit it in whenever possible. Mom is doing fine as always, though she is sleeping better because she is pretty much exhausted by days end; taking care of Leah and working and doing house work--still feel bad about that. Around here there aren't many kids surprisingly--one of them actually went boarding on Monday and broke his collar bone. Ouch! I really don't have much to report, I have a job interview on Saturday, so we'll see how that goes. I might just stay out all day then, just so I can get there on time and because the "couples" are going out to dinner and a show type thing. So being out and about would be better. Anyway, nothing much else to bring up, if I think of anything I'll let you know.
~Cause nobody wants to be the last one left, cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares...."
P.S. thankyou to those who have kept in touch :-)

Weekend in Shelbey.....

Alright, I hit the enter key again. Make a long story short or shortish, the weekend was loads of fun! There that is all you get...no I'm kidding. I have nothing else to do right now, so I shall continue on. Well, on Thursday we went out and looked at apartments and fell in love with one that we looked at. Yeah, how on earth can you fall in love with one eh? Dont ask me, it's just a figure of speech. Anyway, it would be awesome if we get into that place by the end of this week. Here's hoping! Shawna went to work that night and I went over to the Jacobsen's as arranged. Everyone is asleep by then anyway. In the morning I slept in to late (6:45am) so had to make my bed and rush out the door and walk to Shawna's place where I packed for the weekend and waited for Shawna to get ready. We then proceeded to drive about 4 hours and stopped in to see an aunt in the hospital, then continued on for about an hour or so and went to see one of the many cousins that Shawna has. No joke, I think all Montana is inhabited by Benjamins. Anyway, stayed out at her grandparents house, went out shooting with the guys on Saturday, and out to dinner that night. Was a shaperone on Friday night (not that I was worried) and went on a "triple" date Saturday night, ha ha. Sunday went to meeting and met more of the family, had lunch and then drove home singing and talking. Now it's back to job hunting and looking for apartments or hopefully getting into that one that we looked at. Since this next weekend is valentines day I will most likely be hanging by myself (which isnt to bad, since I wouldn't have a date an' all). I'll think of something to do :D. Other then that, my cell phone had no reception out on the farm, so if you tried to call me that is why I didn't get back to you. Well, hope everyone is doing spiffing, I will catch up later....
~In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight!!!"

Almost a week.....

Well, it has almost been a week that I have spent here. Time really flys--though I do need to fiind something more productive to do with my time. All that my life consists of now is sleep, eat, job applications, apartment hunting, shopping, walking a bit, talking to people here and there, and yeah. Not much, but life is bound to improve. So, Leah's surgery went well and she is still in the hospital. She's had a few visitors, but she gets tired really easily. I've talked to her a couple times, but by the end of about a minute she sounds like she's about ready to pass out on me. Needless to say, we don't talk often. Anyway, Shawna and I are hoping that we can get this apartment we want though that means we'd both have to have minimum wage jobs. So, if she doesn't mind giving up the job she has now, we might be able to swing it. As far as I know, she doesn't like her job much....we'll see. Last night we went to bible study and I was so glad to be there. Met some nice people and well....meeting always seems to be the very thing I need. Things are going better for me, I'm not missing home as much, but there is still that tendency to think about it and wish I was back home with mom and her warmth and spirit, dad with his great conversations and humor, and Leah with her close friendship. These days in the morning I think about mom sitting in her chair with the cats reading her bible....it's been sort of a comfort to me and an encouragment. If I can make it through this, then well--least I've accomplished something right?? But anywho, I guess there is not much else to say. Though I have appreciated the friends that have been keeping in touch as well as family, thank you :-)
~Oh what shall it profit, riches and pleasures to gain, if your own soul be the forfeit, shall it not all be in vain....."

Third day in no mans land......

lol, actually it's not to bad, but I hope Shawna wont get to tired of me. Anyway--the first night here was the worst. Got really homesick and my brain kind of started functioning over time and I was wondering why the heck I didn't stay for Leah's surgery. Needless to say I wore myself out that night and slept like a rock. For the last two days we've been cruising around trying to find jobs for me and a new apartment. The landlords are being a bit difficult, so Shawna figured we might as well get out now. I'm not complaining. I am currently residing on Shawna's floor, which is not bad and yeah. The other day I walked around town and it didn't take very long. Though I did get lost--how the heck can you get lost in a town with less then 1400 people?? Well it is possible. An old man started talking to me--asked where I was from and whatnot. I told him Oregon and he went off on being a liberal. Interesting I must say. Oh and about the phone situation, I may have to switch, but I'm hoping not. If you call and I miss it, I will most likely call you back. Sooo....if there is anything else you want to know, just ask. I really need a camera so I can post pictures!
~Some day, when I'm awefully low, and the world is cold--I will feel a glow just thinking of you...."

Montana......

Alright, so here I am, laying on Shawna's floor with the laptop and no spell check, bummer! About the spell check I mean. Well, I'll update you all on yesterday. I packed with the help of Larae all morning and then took a shower and went to a movie with mom and Leah and then out to dinner with everyone. I was going to go out and see the motley crew before I left, but I don't know why I didn't :-(. Anyway, Leah and mom went to bed early and me and dad got to talking and stayed up till 1:00 in the morning. I made sure I had all my stuff and then said goodnight and slept with mom--since my bed was packed up. Set my alarm for 4:20 in the morning, but mom woke me up sooner. Course Bridget had to join the group....anyway, Leah got the shower and I just put a skirt on and left the clothes on from the night before. We were out of the house by 5. Dad didn't go to the airport, but that was ok. Mom was crying before we even left the house, way to early to be doing that. I got jelly beans, a cd, and a book with two letters for the flights--though I was to nervous to really eat. Got to the airport, checked in, said goodbye to mom who was crying and almost went without giving Leah a hug. Got on the plane after asking which one I was supposed to get on, found my seat and we were off. The lady that sat next to me fell asleep listening to music and the man in front of us started snoring. I read my letters from mom and dad and for the rest of the flight had a turmoil of thoughts.......mostly memorized lines from movies and spiritual thoughts. I know, those go together so well. I guess I like to keep my mind busy with something. Anyway, got to Salt Lake City and thankgoodness the next flight out was easy to find--I was worried. So, I sat for 2 hours waiting to take off and then scrambled to get on the plane. I sat next to a guy from Florida who was taking a business trip. Apparently he's friends with one of the guys from the group Nsync and his daughter went to her friends party and they had the Jonas Brothers over. Well he was an interesting guy anyway. By then I was kind of tired and was looking out the window and ready to pass out. He talked quite a bit and I did my best to keep up. I was glad to get off the plane though--to much sitting. But hey, Shawna didn't forget me! She was there when I got off the plane and we waited for forever to get my bag. We thought it was lost, but it turned up behind the counter. After getting back to a few people, collecting my bags, and going out to a late lunch we headed off to gospel meeting. Which is at 3:30 and lasts for 45minutes. It seemed sooo short! Oh right, there was a guy in SLC that sounded like Forest Gump--back to....yeah. Met a few people and this field has the opposite problem that the Bend one does. There are hardly any girls--so more guys. Apparently a lot of them are pretty wild though. A lot of people marry early here, kind of confusing on who is married and who not. I'm going to miss having younger kids in the field though. Anyway, Manhattan is tiny and I mean TINY! There's only about 1400 and some people here. The mountains are gorgeous though!! Well, anyway, I think I am going to sleep a little bit--so I will catch up with you all later. Excuse my errors in this thing, no spell check an' all....
~what a day....."
P.S. Frank, you almost made me cry when I read the heading on your last blog "goodbye old friend". yeah, I'm gonna miss people all right....

Wow....

I haven't written for seems like a long time, but only since last Saturday. This week has been so busy and it's not getting any slower in the next few days. So, dentist, glasses, hair, hopefully get my tea, and yeah...just spending time with family and friends. Still have to pack--but it really shouldn't be that hard. If you catch me at a bad time and I happen to snap at you, don't take it personally. I'm excited about moving, don't get me wrong, but at the same time--I am SOOO going to miss everyone here and the place where I live. I've got so much stuff to do in the next couple of days, it's insane. Well, somewhat....Sunday it is, 6:10 in the morning and then it's good bye Bend and hello Bozeman and frost bite. Everyone has definitely got to keep in touch and I'll try to do the same. Well, I've got to get going, much to do....
~I'll miss you, I'll miss my girl, just promise me you wont stay away forever...."

Well well........

These last few weeks have just been filled with house cleaning, sitting, cleaning, organizing, cleaning, well you get the point. Mom helped me get my ticket, so I am set to go next Sunday--February 1st. Can't believe it, but I am excited. I just hope I don't get lost in the airport in Salt Lake City. I've actually got a lot accomplished in the last couple days and I got my last pay check yesterday so I am thrilled! Something else I don't have to worry about for a bit. Leah has been constantly talking on the phone with her (probably sometime) almost? boyfriend. So, I get to listen to the giggling and the....well she's kind enough to shut the door :D. Things are finally looking up for her. She's getting a surgery, has a guy that likes her....I think she'll be going back to meeting, but we'll see on that one, and yeah. That is as far as that goes--since she can't really do much after her surgery. As for me.....I've already told enough. Anyway, I'll write later......
~Is everything just chance or are somethings meant to be...."

Bored.......

Alright, so people ask me, do you like being a twin? Or they ask, do you hate being a twin. There are definitely bad points and good points to being a twin. So, we'll start out with the good ones and if I can't think of many, I'll hopefully think of ones after I get the sucky ones out of the way.
Good Points: 1. You have your best friend
2. The first one pretty much sums up the good about being a twin.
3. I'll get back to the good in a second.
Bad Points: 1. You basically look alike, so you get your pick of which personality you like best.
2. Competition is a biggy (for some, Leah more then me): in sports, activities, etc.
3. You are the same age, so you could like the same guy, or said guys could move from one to the next. Leah and I don't really like the same guys most of the time, so hopefully this one really never comes up when it comes to who we like.
4. Jealousy unfortunately.....about some odd thing or other.
5. Comparing, please try to refrain sometimes on this score, it will set one or the other off. Unless the other one is not present and doesn't happen to rub the others nose in it when talking later on....or if it is just a simple observation. We like to be different...
6. You are only half of a person because the other half is currently residing in the person that looks like you. Might be good to be away, then I can complete the other half, yeah sounds weird, comes with being a twin (or it might just be me, hah).
7. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes both try to compete for their friends/families affection and attention. If one comes first, then the other feels like there is no room for the them. We like to be our own person, but like to be treated the same in some cases. Inevitably one gets left out sometimes or feels like it.
8. You know what differences there are and what is lacking (cause you see it everyday)....people may like one but not the other and that sometimes hurts, because you see how the other one is and know that you are nothing like that. Also they are kind of rejecting that half that you love so much. Don't get me wrong, I love having my own friends, more now then I used to--it's just different.
9. You get so close to that person, you really don't get out there and make friends outside of that. So, when it comes time to break away, it's a bit hard. (More so for me then Leah, in some cases). If you happen to be a good friend to a twin don't think that that relationship will go away if you are close. We hold on to relationships way to tightly (I'm talking about friends). Well, not all the time, but we treasure the uh.....bonds? we have with other people that are outside our close knit relationship.
10. And last one, cause dad will kill me if I don't get off soon. Can't think of anymore
So, I shall say goodnight, sleep good :D
~What matters is how you see yourself..."

So the day is Thursday.....

Well, I have been trying to get Leah to go hiking with me for two weeks, hasn't taken yet. Oh well, no need to give up hope. Let's see, I really do need to find a hobby--lets just say I'm going a bit nuts. All I've done is clean--moms favorite pass time. I'm also trying to make a point of not going on facebook so much, but I guess I should try to cancel the computer out all together. As for an update on my life, I called Wheat Montana (the bakery I wanted to get a job at) and they are not hiring right now, but said they would call me if anything changed or were hiring. So, while I wait for that over in Montana I can look for another job as well. Gotta work for what you want. Kind of exciting actually--we'll see how it goes. I was however stoked that I got new contacts today!!!!! Now I don't have to go around with just one eye. Though I have to admit, last night kinda sucked. Well no, meeting was good and I needed it, it was just that there was no one to talk to and I hit one of those lonely uh....times again? Ah well, life is full of ups and downs. Oh woe is me right? My troubles are hardly trivial. So, I am thrilled to be moving end of story.....ok, sad. I should probably go, night.
~Change comes, so why regret what you can't control?"

Everyone just fell off the face of the earth......

Alright, now where did everyone go? I know I'm not the most entertaining person in the world, but come on! haha....well, why am I up at this time you might ask? I got up to go to the gym with Larea and now I am contemplating sleep or reading. Either one sounds good. Trying to keep busy this week and probably should check my bank account. I did hear a lot of good things at special meeting, but it would take a while to reflect on everything I heard about. I guess one thought that I liked was about the shepherd leading his sheep to good pasture before taking them through fields filled with deadly plants. The sheep would eat till they were full and then would not stop to eat the bad things that would kill them. And so they would live to be led to new fields. I know that I go through life thinking about spiritual things here or there, but a lot of times not really filling up on the good things--eternal things. Instead I get caught in the world, though I guess it never satisfies. I don't know, lately I've just been thinking about how thankful I am that even if life is terrible or you are going through hard times you can still serve God. That is just comforting to me. With everything that's been going on in my life right now I just feel free. Free from things that I needed to let go of and I was really happy that I got to spend a lot of time with the friends this last weekend. It is encouraging. It will be good for me to move....for one, it will give Leah room to breath again and to get back on her feet. Though we'll both miss each other, I think it will be the best thing right now. Two, I get away from some things--not really people--but just some of the ideas I have. I don't have three, so you only get two. So, I could go over some of the things that Heidi and I talked about, but I am really feeling that sleep hitting me. I'll catch up with you all later :D
~A thousand times goodbye....."

A okay!

So, hopefully I can get through this thing without getting bored. I'd rather right this in my journal where I can say everything, but I'll give you the short long version of it ;-). Last time was Wednesday....Thursday and Friday I kept busy cleaning the house and going shopping and going to the gym with Larea. Other then that, the family wasn't to bad. I was worried about how this last weekend would go, me being shy and all, but the social part of it went fairly well. Heidi and I took off from Bend at about 11:30 or so on Saturday. Stopped somewhere to get something to eat and then continued on our way. Lots of talking and music ensued (sp?) and by the time we got there our bums were sore. Great fun. We stopped in at Gail's place and met her roommate (reminded me of Shawna) and then we went to the mall to go shopping. Fortunately I did not spend a dime from my debit card all weekend!!! Walked around looking for a couple hours then decided it was time to head back for dinner. UNfortunately we got lost down town for a good hour or more and had to call Brian Kloosterman more times then I'd like to count. Heidi was frustrated and "didn't like being in control", I was sitting back and just along for the ride. I can't really read a map worth squat, but that's what happens sometimes. So, finally we got back to their place, had dinner, talked to this family who was from Africa I think it was, and then headed over to where we were staying for the night. More girly chat continued until about 11:00pm and then we all turned in for the night. Somewhat cold I might say, though I didn't think Heidi would appreciate me trying to share body heat. Got up, took a shower (kind of like convention all over again) went to Gail's again for breakfast and to make lunches, then flew out the door at 9:00am and got to Special Meeting about 40 minutes early. Sat in the front and heard a lot of great things, once I got my mind quiet. And special meeting played out like it usually does. Then thankgoodness, we did not get lost going to the Foner's. I didn't really know anyone there, but it was fun meeting everyone and getting to talk to them--and play games. Sang hymns once everyone showed up, share some things that we had heard that we liked, listened to stories, and then after many groaning stomaches--got up to eat. We played games afterward too, but I wont go into detail about everything. I got kissed under the mistletoe though....lol. Yeah, go ahead, ask me about that one :-P. Heidi was worried about the roads so we got directions from a crowd of guys on where to go and started to head out. Got side tracked talking and then I decided I wanted to change. We got out of there at about 8pm though--wish we could have stayed longer--but that is ok (no worries Heidi!). I had a great time anyway! A WHOLE lot of talking happened after leaving and the drive went by fast. Haha, as I said, I'll save detail for my journal. Hope everyone has a great week!!
~Why do we insist on leaving the good things behind?"
P.S. the kiss was from Teresa Foner, lol she was standing under it......I was like, you are kidding right? Apparently not hah!

BAH!

Ok, so no one is in a talkative mood tonight, if there is--I can't think of anyone to call. The house is quiet, mom is sleeping, dad is working on school work, Leah is doing something with her phone and this computer is absolute crap! So, last time I wrote was on the 3rd which was a Saturday I think?? Anyway, had union Sunday meeting and then had Heidi, Connor, and Frank over--went out for lunch and then back to our place. Heidi couldn't stay that long since she had stuff to do, so we went bowling with the guys, then got pizza and watched a movie. Yes, we watched a movie--impossible I know. Anyway--took them home afterward and Leah and I went driving for about an hour afterward and talked. After a crazy day, guess she needed it. Meanwhile, I have no school and no job for the whole month and then I am moving. Needless to say, I am trying to keep myself occupied, though no one seems to interested in talking. Ah well, better get out there and do something more productive then talking to people on the phone. This next weekend I am hoping to go to East Portland Special meeting and then there is a get together after. Other then that, waking up early tomorrow and going to the gym with a friend. Least that's something. Let me think....I really am not a person with no brains. What is annoying is when there are people that don't think for themselves--you talk to them about the weather or any other thing you can think of. I know there are some friends that I have grown apart from and now when I see them, it's like--what do I talk to them about? Oh well, that happens I guess. I am soooooo ready to get out of here though. At first I was like "I'll get to see new places and meet new people *squeal*" but now it's just "who cares? I don't care where I go or who I meet". I'd go to a fishing place if I had to. Right now I wouldn't mind just working nights or days and sleeping! Something to just keep me busy. Well gotta go....
~whatever shall I do?"

The 3rd....woot!

Nothing at all happened today except more shopping and a lack of shower because Leah took forever and drained the hot water. Wonderful stuff I must say. Though I am happy to report I got everything I needed in the way of gifts and such. Hmmm....I did have something to say, but it has flown out the window. As for the last post--guess it wasn't to cheery--I actually talked to mom and she thought my ideas and thoughts about her doubting me were absolutely ridiculous. Blame it on my off...hormones, ha. Hopefully that came out right. We were up late last night, so I slept in this morning, read for a few hours, and then was reading through my journal from this past year. I have wanted some of my friends to write something in it, just so then I have something from other people to read besides what I have written. I played the piano a bit this morning and then we headed out the door to go shopping (no need to shower, least I didn't smell). We went to Joanne's and then to Target. Surprising how long it takes to shop in just two places, but Leah and I had fun goofing off. Mom told us to stop, but hey, gotta get it in before I leave eh? As for New Years Resolutions, I don't know if I really have any. Last year I didn't make any and things changed a lot, for the better. I think this year will be a good one and while I'd like to plan out things not everything turns out as you plan. So, embrace the new year and the changes that come and simply live life. Though I do want to read more and in chapters I've never read before. There is my one resolution. Well, off I go, see what I can come up with :-P
~Life is not always what we would wish it, but sometimes it can be so much more...."

And a Happy New Year!

At least I hope so anyway. I remember saying last year at the beginning that I hoped it would be a good year and that I thought it would be. And you know what, it was an awesome year! Sure it had it's ups and downs, but alls well that ends well. I made new friends, made new discoveries (not like the explorers), became more content with things, got to know people better....I could go on forever. All in all though, the year was not disappointing in the least. This year will be interesting and new, but I hope it will be a good one as well. I'm taking more charge of it I guess--not just seeing where things go or situations lead. I have the prospect of moving, the sad thought of leaving everything behind including the motley crew :-(--geting to see new places and meet new people. Hopefully I don't have to slink back here because I failed to do something. Things have changed so much it's hard to believe that this year even happened at all. I've been writing a lot more in my journal, so if you want to know more you're gonna have to steal that to know anything. Not that I would suggest that :-P. What kind of got me bummed earlier was when I was talking to mom. I had wanted to go to East Portland for special meeting because someone had asked if they would see me there. Well, so I thought, great idea! But I was talking to mom today and just saying that I didn't want to go just to see someone else there, but for meeting! And mom agreed. But it hurts when someone thinks that you are going for the wrong reasons or doubts you so much. I remember a while ago, after Leah stopped going to meeting, I wasn't ready to go to meeting yet and mom asked me if I was going or not. "Nah" I said, which was dripping with sarcasm and mom was like, "oh...". I told her I was kidding and she said "well, one daughter isn't going..." and left me to finish that sentence. I still think that she thinks I go for the wrong reasons sometimes. Argh, guess having a good memory on things isn't such a great thing. I just don't want to be doubted. Made me thankful anyway that God knows our hearts. There was a verse in tonights study that was saying something about the unjust man being unjust still....continues on. But just to think that we can't change who we are or hide what we are. I was glad to think that God sees everything and that we don't have to be anyone that we're not. I'm just kind of getting tired of people hiding who they really are. I'd rather have the honest truth and get to know people then get to know a lie. Anyway....this new year started with peppermint in my eyes (accident!), thoughts in my head, hope in my heart, and weariness in my body (lol, think I can get any more loony?). I should probably go to bed, hope everyone has a great week and weekend!
~For he shall not much remember the days of his life; because God answereth him in the joy of his heart..."