Wow....

I haven't written for seems like a long time, but only since last Saturday. This week has been so busy and it's not getting any slower in the next few days. So, dentist, glasses, hair, hopefully get my tea, and yeah...just spending time with family and friends. Still have to pack--but it really shouldn't be that hard. If you catch me at a bad time and I happen to snap at you, don't take it personally. I'm excited about moving, don't get me wrong, but at the same time--I am SOOO going to miss everyone here and the place where I live. I've got so much stuff to do in the next couple of days, it's insane. Well, somewhat....Sunday it is, 6:10 in the morning and then it's good bye Bend and hello Bozeman and frost bite. Everyone has definitely got to keep in touch and I'll try to do the same. Well, I've got to get going, much to do....
~I'll miss you, I'll miss my girl, just promise me you wont stay away forever...."

Well well........

These last few weeks have just been filled with house cleaning, sitting, cleaning, organizing, cleaning, well you get the point. Mom helped me get my ticket, so I am set to go next Sunday--February 1st. Can't believe it, but I am excited. I just hope I don't get lost in the airport in Salt Lake City. I've actually got a lot accomplished in the last couple days and I got my last pay check yesterday so I am thrilled! Something else I don't have to worry about for a bit. Leah has been constantly talking on the phone with her (probably sometime) almost? boyfriend. So, I get to listen to the giggling and the....well she's kind enough to shut the door :D. Things are finally looking up for her. She's getting a surgery, has a guy that likes her....I think she'll be going back to meeting, but we'll see on that one, and yeah. That is as far as that goes--since she can't really do much after her surgery. As for me.....I've already told enough. Anyway, I'll write later......
~Is everything just chance or are somethings meant to be...."

Bored.......

Alright, so people ask me, do you like being a twin? Or they ask, do you hate being a twin. There are definitely bad points and good points to being a twin. So, we'll start out with the good ones and if I can't think of many, I'll hopefully think of ones after I get the sucky ones out of the way.
Good Points: 1. You have your best friend
2. The first one pretty much sums up the good about being a twin.
3. I'll get back to the good in a second.
Bad Points: 1. You basically look alike, so you get your pick of which personality you like best.
2. Competition is a biggy (for some, Leah more then me): in sports, activities, etc.
3. You are the same age, so you could like the same guy, or said guys could move from one to the next. Leah and I don't really like the same guys most of the time, so hopefully this one really never comes up when it comes to who we like.
4. Jealousy unfortunately.....about some odd thing or other.
5. Comparing, please try to refrain sometimes on this score, it will set one or the other off. Unless the other one is not present and doesn't happen to rub the others nose in it when talking later on....or if it is just a simple observation. We like to be different...
6. You are only half of a person because the other half is currently residing in the person that looks like you. Might be good to be away, then I can complete the other half, yeah sounds weird, comes with being a twin (or it might just be me, hah).
7. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes both try to compete for their friends/families affection and attention. If one comes first, then the other feels like there is no room for the them. We like to be our own person, but like to be treated the same in some cases. Inevitably one gets left out sometimes or feels like it.
8. You know what differences there are and what is lacking (cause you see it everyday)....people may like one but not the other and that sometimes hurts, because you see how the other one is and know that you are nothing like that. Also they are kind of rejecting that half that you love so much. Don't get me wrong, I love having my own friends, more now then I used to--it's just different.
9. You get so close to that person, you really don't get out there and make friends outside of that. So, when it comes time to break away, it's a bit hard. (More so for me then Leah, in some cases). If you happen to be a good friend to a twin don't think that that relationship will go away if you are close. We hold on to relationships way to tightly (I'm talking about friends). Well, not all the time, but we treasure the uh.....bonds? we have with other people that are outside our close knit relationship.
10. And last one, cause dad will kill me if I don't get off soon. Can't think of anymore
So, I shall say goodnight, sleep good :D
~What matters is how you see yourself..."

So the day is Thursday.....

Well, I have been trying to get Leah to go hiking with me for two weeks, hasn't taken yet. Oh well, no need to give up hope. Let's see, I really do need to find a hobby--lets just say I'm going a bit nuts. All I've done is clean--moms favorite pass time. I'm also trying to make a point of not going on facebook so much, but I guess I should try to cancel the computer out all together. As for an update on my life, I called Wheat Montana (the bakery I wanted to get a job at) and they are not hiring right now, but said they would call me if anything changed or were hiring. So, while I wait for that over in Montana I can look for another job as well. Gotta work for what you want. Kind of exciting actually--we'll see how it goes. I was however stoked that I got new contacts today!!!!! Now I don't have to go around with just one eye. Though I have to admit, last night kinda sucked. Well no, meeting was good and I needed it, it was just that there was no one to talk to and I hit one of those lonely uh....times again? Ah well, life is full of ups and downs. Oh woe is me right? My troubles are hardly trivial. So, I am thrilled to be moving end of story.....ok, sad. I should probably go, night.
~Change comes, so why regret what you can't control?"

Everyone just fell off the face of the earth......

Alright, now where did everyone go? I know I'm not the most entertaining person in the world, but come on! haha....well, why am I up at this time you might ask? I got up to go to the gym with Larea and now I am contemplating sleep or reading. Either one sounds good. Trying to keep busy this week and probably should check my bank account. I did hear a lot of good things at special meeting, but it would take a while to reflect on everything I heard about. I guess one thought that I liked was about the shepherd leading his sheep to good pasture before taking them through fields filled with deadly plants. The sheep would eat till they were full and then would not stop to eat the bad things that would kill them. And so they would live to be led to new fields. I know that I go through life thinking about spiritual things here or there, but a lot of times not really filling up on the good things--eternal things. Instead I get caught in the world, though I guess it never satisfies. I don't know, lately I've just been thinking about how thankful I am that even if life is terrible or you are going through hard times you can still serve God. That is just comforting to me. With everything that's been going on in my life right now I just feel free. Free from things that I needed to let go of and I was really happy that I got to spend a lot of time with the friends this last weekend. It is encouraging. It will be good for me to move....for one, it will give Leah room to breath again and to get back on her feet. Though we'll both miss each other, I think it will be the best thing right now. Two, I get away from some things--not really people--but just some of the ideas I have. I don't have three, so you only get two. So, I could go over some of the things that Heidi and I talked about, but I am really feeling that sleep hitting me. I'll catch up with you all later :D
~A thousand times goodbye....."

A okay!

So, hopefully I can get through this thing without getting bored. I'd rather right this in my journal where I can say everything, but I'll give you the short long version of it ;-). Last time was Wednesday....Thursday and Friday I kept busy cleaning the house and going shopping and going to the gym with Larea. Other then that, the family wasn't to bad. I was worried about how this last weekend would go, me being shy and all, but the social part of it went fairly well. Heidi and I took off from Bend at about 11:30 or so on Saturday. Stopped somewhere to get something to eat and then continued on our way. Lots of talking and music ensued (sp?) and by the time we got there our bums were sore. Great fun. We stopped in at Gail's place and met her roommate (reminded me of Shawna) and then we went to the mall to go shopping. Fortunately I did not spend a dime from my debit card all weekend!!! Walked around looking for a couple hours then decided it was time to head back for dinner. UNfortunately we got lost down town for a good hour or more and had to call Brian Kloosterman more times then I'd like to count. Heidi was frustrated and "didn't like being in control", I was sitting back and just along for the ride. I can't really read a map worth squat, but that's what happens sometimes. So, finally we got back to their place, had dinner, talked to this family who was from Africa I think it was, and then headed over to where we were staying for the night. More girly chat continued until about 11:00pm and then we all turned in for the night. Somewhat cold I might say, though I didn't think Heidi would appreciate me trying to share body heat. Got up, took a shower (kind of like convention all over again) went to Gail's again for breakfast and to make lunches, then flew out the door at 9:00am and got to Special Meeting about 40 minutes early. Sat in the front and heard a lot of great things, once I got my mind quiet. And special meeting played out like it usually does. Then thankgoodness, we did not get lost going to the Foner's. I didn't really know anyone there, but it was fun meeting everyone and getting to talk to them--and play games. Sang hymns once everyone showed up, share some things that we had heard that we liked, listened to stories, and then after many groaning stomaches--got up to eat. We played games afterward too, but I wont go into detail about everything. I got kissed under the mistletoe though....lol. Yeah, go ahead, ask me about that one :-P. Heidi was worried about the roads so we got directions from a crowd of guys on where to go and started to head out. Got side tracked talking and then I decided I wanted to change. We got out of there at about 8pm though--wish we could have stayed longer--but that is ok (no worries Heidi!). I had a great time anyway! A WHOLE lot of talking happened after leaving and the drive went by fast. Haha, as I said, I'll save detail for my journal. Hope everyone has a great week!!
~Why do we insist on leaving the good things behind?"
P.S. the kiss was from Teresa Foner, lol she was standing under it......I was like, you are kidding right? Apparently not hah!

BAH!

Ok, so no one is in a talkative mood tonight, if there is--I can't think of anyone to call. The house is quiet, mom is sleeping, dad is working on school work, Leah is doing something with her phone and this computer is absolute crap! So, last time I wrote was on the 3rd which was a Saturday I think?? Anyway, had union Sunday meeting and then had Heidi, Connor, and Frank over--went out for lunch and then back to our place. Heidi couldn't stay that long since she had stuff to do, so we went bowling with the guys, then got pizza and watched a movie. Yes, we watched a movie--impossible I know. Anyway--took them home afterward and Leah and I went driving for about an hour afterward and talked. After a crazy day, guess she needed it. Meanwhile, I have no school and no job for the whole month and then I am moving. Needless to say, I am trying to keep myself occupied, though no one seems to interested in talking. Ah well, better get out there and do something more productive then talking to people on the phone. This next weekend I am hoping to go to East Portland Special meeting and then there is a get together after. Other then that, waking up early tomorrow and going to the gym with a friend. Least that's something. Let me think....I really am not a person with no brains. What is annoying is when there are people that don't think for themselves--you talk to them about the weather or any other thing you can think of. I know there are some friends that I have grown apart from and now when I see them, it's like--what do I talk to them about? Oh well, that happens I guess. I am soooooo ready to get out of here though. At first I was like "I'll get to see new places and meet new people *squeal*" but now it's just "who cares? I don't care where I go or who I meet". I'd go to a fishing place if I had to. Right now I wouldn't mind just working nights or days and sleeping! Something to just keep me busy. Well gotta go....
~whatever shall I do?"

The 3rd....woot!

Nothing at all happened today except more shopping and a lack of shower because Leah took forever and drained the hot water. Wonderful stuff I must say. Though I am happy to report I got everything I needed in the way of gifts and such. Hmmm....I did have something to say, but it has flown out the window. As for the last post--guess it wasn't to cheery--I actually talked to mom and she thought my ideas and thoughts about her doubting me were absolutely ridiculous. Blame it on my off...hormones, ha. Hopefully that came out right. We were up late last night, so I slept in this morning, read for a few hours, and then was reading through my journal from this past year. I have wanted some of my friends to write something in it, just so then I have something from other people to read besides what I have written. I played the piano a bit this morning and then we headed out the door to go shopping (no need to shower, least I didn't smell). We went to Joanne's and then to Target. Surprising how long it takes to shop in just two places, but Leah and I had fun goofing off. Mom told us to stop, but hey, gotta get it in before I leave eh? As for New Years Resolutions, I don't know if I really have any. Last year I didn't make any and things changed a lot, for the better. I think this year will be a good one and while I'd like to plan out things not everything turns out as you plan. So, embrace the new year and the changes that come and simply live life. Though I do want to read more and in chapters I've never read before. There is my one resolution. Well, off I go, see what I can come up with :-P
~Life is not always what we would wish it, but sometimes it can be so much more...."

And a Happy New Year!

At least I hope so anyway. I remember saying last year at the beginning that I hoped it would be a good year and that I thought it would be. And you know what, it was an awesome year! Sure it had it's ups and downs, but alls well that ends well. I made new friends, made new discoveries (not like the explorers), became more content with things, got to know people better....I could go on forever. All in all though, the year was not disappointing in the least. This year will be interesting and new, but I hope it will be a good one as well. I'm taking more charge of it I guess--not just seeing where things go or situations lead. I have the prospect of moving, the sad thought of leaving everything behind including the motley crew :-(--geting to see new places and meet new people. Hopefully I don't have to slink back here because I failed to do something. Things have changed so much it's hard to believe that this year even happened at all. I've been writing a lot more in my journal, so if you want to know more you're gonna have to steal that to know anything. Not that I would suggest that :-P. What kind of got me bummed earlier was when I was talking to mom. I had wanted to go to East Portland for special meeting because someone had asked if they would see me there. Well, so I thought, great idea! But I was talking to mom today and just saying that I didn't want to go just to see someone else there, but for meeting! And mom agreed. But it hurts when someone thinks that you are going for the wrong reasons or doubts you so much. I remember a while ago, after Leah stopped going to meeting, I wasn't ready to go to meeting yet and mom asked me if I was going or not. "Nah" I said, which was dripping with sarcasm and mom was like, "oh...". I told her I was kidding and she said "well, one daughter isn't going..." and left me to finish that sentence. I still think that she thinks I go for the wrong reasons sometimes. Argh, guess having a good memory on things isn't such a great thing. I just don't want to be doubted. Made me thankful anyway that God knows our hearts. There was a verse in tonights study that was saying something about the unjust man being unjust still....continues on. But just to think that we can't change who we are or hide what we are. I was glad to think that God sees everything and that we don't have to be anyone that we're not. I'm just kind of getting tired of people hiding who they really are. I'd rather have the honest truth and get to know people then get to know a lie. Anyway....this new year started with peppermint in my eyes (accident!), thoughts in my head, hope in my heart, and weariness in my body (lol, think I can get any more loony?). I should probably go to bed, hope everyone has a great week and weekend!
~For he shall not much remember the days of his life; because God answereth him in the joy of his heart..."