Day after thanksgiving.....

I'll back up to Wednesday I think. So, I went to work and I really didn't see the point in having the college open, because hardly anyone was there. Got home, then went to meeting, and then went to Larea's house while she collected her stuff to bake and stay the night at our house. Took forever, but she had fun. I went to bed at about midnight after calling a few people and Leah and Larea stayed up till about 3 in the morning baking pies and whatnot. Fortunately I did weasel my way out of helping in the kitchen (there were enough occupants anyway). But we had the Tocis over, grandparents, and Rich....so thanksgiving went as it normally does. A whole lot of cooking and baking, people eat in about 30 minutes, then there are a lot of things to clean up and you dive into the desert. I wanted to go to a get together, but mom thought it was a bad idea (with company an' all) so instead dad and I went walking up the Butte and then went driving. It was nice to get to talk to him after not talking for a while (long conversation wise). Got back home and either people were playing games or watching a movie. It was kind of a relief when the house got quiet. So, I went to bed at about 11 and slept pretty good. This morning is VERY slow, I haven't even taken a shower yet. Mom went out to see granny, Leah went over to Larea's, dad is at work and I am hanging out by myself for a day. Might go walking somewhere or something. Who knows, I'll find something to do. Anyway, I think I'm gonna try to find something to do now, maybe take a shower ha, so later....

I don't have a title for this one, once again....

HELLO!!!! Yes, it has been a while. I didn't really realize it. Well, I am working today and am the only one at the front desk for 5 more hours. Not to bad. Today is a super slow day and the fog is rolling in. I feel a WHOLE lot better then I have been. Either I'm in really bad shape or something else is going on cause I've been exhausted. I went to bed at 6:30pm last night and have been going to bed at 8:00 every night for the last 7 days. Interesting I know. Anyway, mom is panicking about thanksgiving tomorrow and there is no way I can possibly weazel (sp?) my way out of helping out in the kitchen, bummer! Uh, nothing else is really ringing a bell here. Just doing some packing around the house (not much) going to miss playing the piano, and mom is crying on the job cause I am leaving. Poor ma :-(. Hmm....lately I have been trying to break out of my shell a lil bit more and am trying to be more honest and open with people. Forgive me if I uh...make you uncomfortable? Or tell me at least! Alright, weird!! Some guy just stopped in the door to watch me. They really do need a sign around here that says "No flirting with the library help! Thank you and have a nice day!" lol. So, anywho, I think I am going to read a bit or do something else around here, later :-))
~Then there's just one problem left....how much I'm going to miss her...."

Don't jump now, the worst is yet to come, haha

Tonight I don't really feel like writing, but I'll try to make it through this one. So, I have no idea where I left off. I went to class yesterday and did something else I can't remember. It must have been exciting.....oh, though I did have fun in my gym class. We had these harness things attached to bungee cords and one person would be holding onto the cords restraining the person in the harness as they ran/walked/lunged (sp?). Ha, the lady I was with didn't hold on good enough the first time, so it snapped my butt. That stung, but it was pretty funny to see her expression. Lol, I'm such a tard. Anyway, my brain is kind of spinning tonight. I've got 3 classes tomorrow, a test in one, and then on Friday--ugh that is going to be busy! I have a class at nine, then I work from 10-1:00, but have to get out early to go to this extra credit thing that last from 1-2 hours (not sure), then there is that sing and there was something else I wanted to do as well! Oy, I'm going to be glad when I get my test out of the way. I wanna take a shower!! But I have to study for my test :-(. Alright, I had this whole "deep thinking" thing, lol--but there is no time, so I might post tomorrow. NIGHT!
~Things are as bad as they could possibly get....I stand corrected..." (though really life isn't bad, it's just hectic)

You are my sunshine......

Alright, so there is nothing new. Moving has been taking up a lot of my brain these days and I wouldn't mind moving sooner. I went to work yesterday and then went shopping and came home and read a book. What a day...I did go to the gym though before work, so it wasn't to bad. Today I am trying to convince myself to go to school (probably will) but I'm not feeling it this morning. Hmm....On Sunday there was the usual happening. We went to morning meeting (which was very nice, I will miss mine) and then we had granny and grampa over, Rich, and Larae for lunch. Mom put this HUGE piece of wood on top of our table to make it bigger. Don't get me wrong, it is quite nice being able to look at everyone around the table instead of just the people in front of you, but if that thing tips and throws everything that is on it, it wasn't me! We'll cross our fingers shall we? Wow, can't believe that it's already the third week in November, I still have to change my calendar, oops....where was I? Ah right, so then we went to afternoon meeting and then I got to ride home with Heidi. That was great!! We should totally get together more often! Ugh, my mind just went blank. Today all I am doing is going to school, big woop there I'm tellin ya. But anyway, I'll get back to ya'll later....as to the heading of this, that was a song that was stuck in my head this morning...actually a sad song right there--
~Remember, remember the 5th of November....

Uhhuh....

Well well, yesterday I didn't really feel like posting anything because there really wasn't anything to tell. Though today there is nothing to tell either...so. I went to school yesterday and went to work, haven't had my phone with me, so I don't call or get calls from anyone. Didn't do to much last night. haha, but I did find out that Leah had a late night visitor that climbed through her window and I thought she was just moving things around, puh! Apparently Leah and Josh are trying to set me up with a guy I know from school. Oy vay! This morning I got up and was going to take a shower, but it turned cold, so now I can't take one till 5 tonight because I can't get my arm wet. I played the piano this morning and then went and gave blood. Good time for Leah and me to catch up on things. About the whole thing on moving, I don't think it is a question of if it's going to happen , just when. I will definitely miss everyone here--but it's not like I'm never coming back. I don't know the future, so who knows (knock on wood). Destination: Montana--who I'm going to live with: Shawna! That will be fun! Now I'm doing what I said I wouldn't--telling people ahead of time. Larea also wants to go on a road trip, we'll see if that happens. But if we did, I would be gone on my b-day and then packing up to move when I got back. Wow.....hey Drew, I don't know how to uh, add viewing your blog thing to mine...? ha, ummm, anyway. I'm trying to think, not much else is going on. Just feel a bit light headed right now--other then that....been thinking about what I heard at convention about the married couple that was going to give up on their marriage. It was a neat story anyway. They planted a tree and then said if the tree died they would get a divorce, but if it lived they would stay together. Well, they both took care of that tree and their marriage grew and they stayed married. It just meant more to me looking at it this week....just that everything is not perfect all the time but that we have to work at it--and if we really care about it that much--we wont let it die. Whatever it is that we are struggling with. And some things we just have to give time to. Right now in my life I figure if things work out and the plans go through, then it's meant to happen (kind of thing), if not, then no. It's all in Gods time and patience on our part is a good thing, a necessary thing. So, I'll see what life brings. As a quote says "some things fall apart, for others to fall together." For some people it makes no sense to go about it that way. They say, you make your own life and that's true. I guess if you look at it from that point of view--if you aren't going to fight to keep it or do whatever, does it really hold much value for you, or do you really want it? I mean, you go through life and you fail at things, but that doesn't mean you just give up and try something new or leave it in the dust. Jeez, now I'm confusing myself. I know what my view is, I just like looking at things from every angle. That's probably why I don't get into fights most of the time, I like to hear other peoples opinions and I don't try to change them. If the world was the same everywhere it would be boring. SO, my arm is hurting and I am getting a lil tired, plus this thing is long enough.....later!
~Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain...."

Stay.....

Well, I am thinking way to much tonight. I pretty much did what I said I would do yesterday, so there is nothing to catch up on there. Though meeting was....there is really no words. It was nice to hear Kevin speak. Ashley was there for once, I really miss that girl! Ha, I wont say what came to mind. Kind of a random tangent. So, this morning I went to my classes--my gym class I overdid it a bit (just a bit) and ended up a bit stiff, nothing to big. And then my sociology class wasn't to bad. Just listening to music now--man some of these songs remind me of some good times. I don't know, there are some things I wont even look back on about this year, but there are a lot of times and things I am going to sorely miss. Lately I seem to think that by leaving or distancing myself from things (a lot of things) then I wont miss those parts anymore. I'll be excited to leave, but I'll miss everything and everyone here. But that's a step in life you have to take. Sure I wouldn't mind never leaving my parents (maybe moving out into an apartment, but staying in Bend)....ah I don't know. It'll be an interesting time. I wont miss the drama from earlier in the year, I wont miss how I used to be (I've grown some), I wont miss my uncertainties, jealousies, insecurities...but I will miss the friendships, the closeness of some of the people I have come to know, the endless talking, the joy I felt (not to say that still can't and isn't happening, there were just times when I felt that nothing could touch me)...ha, I guess I shouldn't look back so much. Move ahead--you can't run a race facing backwards. As it says, not quoting, something to the effect that those who put their hand to the plow and look back to the life they had before and long for that life instead are not fit for the kingdom. Not sure, but that verse is always a good one to read. ANYWAY, on a happy note, Larea is coming over to make brownies and hang out and dad and Leah FINALLY went shopping! Jeez I need a shower....probably wont get one tonight though. Night :-))!
~I'll miss you, I'll miss my girl, just promise me you wont stay away forever..."

SWEET!!!

Ok, so yesterday kind of sucked in the way of doing anything. Not to mention the hormones around here, haha. I'll clarify for those who may be lost--mom and Leah were pretty much in a tiff all day. I looked for jobs online and mom watched how to make curtains and Leah read a book. I think it was about 4:30 when dad finally got up. Anyway, me and mom were going bonkers so we got out and went shopping. Just for the walk mainly--which turned out to be a lot of fun. We talked (we do that a ton lately) and yeah. It was just nice to get out of the house. I think we were gone for about 2 hours or more. I got a purse (mom's idea, I lose things haha) and I'd rather use it as a bible bag and have a wallet, but pants pockets aren't that big. Anyway, went to bed after a while and woke up to check my email. I'm so thrilled!!! Though I don't know if it is to good to be true or not, I have to email back and set some things up, but I would be stoked if it came through!!! Off to school and work this morning and then to meeting! Hey, my headache is gone!!! What luck, I had it for 4 days. Oh hey lizzy, sorry I didn't get to call last night, got a bit caught up with things, sorry!! Anywho, toodles, keep your fingers crossed.
~I think I'm quite ready for another adventure...."

Just jugglin ideas.....

Ok, I worked seven hours yesterday (oh what fun) though two of them were spent watching "Friends" on the computer because I was the only one covering the circulation desk and the ILL desk as well. SOO, yeah--long day and then got home and played the piano and read a book. Fun stuff. Today there is no school or work because it is veterans day! This morning me and mom had a study and then got on the subject of politics. It's been a pretty slow morning. Did chores, still need to get a shower, and then we're going out to do some shopping and looking around for possible jobs. Other than that--not much. Wow, oh well, everyone needs a break right? Well, I guess I could post what I wrote last night.....
I'm ready for a change...there are things that are passing me by, things that are catching up to me, and things that I am so far ahead of. I need to realize what to get rid of in my life and what I need to keep. I have changed a lot over these past 2 years and I'm getting pretty restless where I am, though I guess not all days are like that. So yeah, there ya go. That is what has been on my mind a bit.
Mom said that if I wanted to take time off from school that I could. I know it is a great opportunity, but I'm really not putting myself into it at all. I like school, now though, I'd rather work then sit in a class. I feel a bit trapped by school at the moment. I want to go to school get a good job and get payed well--but I also want to move. I know I've said that time and time again probably. There are things I want to get away from, places I want to see, new people I want to meet, and things that I need to take care of. Not that moving would be the answer or even a great possibility at this point, but it is an appealing prospect. You take your troubles with you, you may be able to get away from some things, but you'll always have to face them sooner or later or just move on from those ideas or whatever they are. Oh well, guess I'm just a big dreamer at this point. Mom's always telling me that this time in life is always the hardest. I agree with her in a way. I mean, I want to get out and start my own life, but without anything to start it with the project is on a slight hold. Haha, I need to shut up now, I'm just going in circles. Later!
~In the eye of the storm there is calm..."

Alrighty!......

I spent my morning (the first half anyway) talking to Leah. So, there are some things I need to leave behind. After I got off the computer last night I went out to join the group. Played the piano for a bit (I LOVE the music I got) and talked to everybody. That is pretty much all we did. Me, Leah and Phillis congregated in Leah's room to talk and somehow Phil got the impression that I liked him....?!?!? I'm not sure how he got that, Leah thinks it was something I said, but I didn't mean it THAT way. So, that gave me something to gawk at this morning. Other then that, Larea stayed the night last night and we all watched "What happens in Vegas" went to bed at about 12:15 or so. Talked to myself before I finally fell asleep. Sometimes it's better to hear things out loud that you can't discuss with people. Anyway...I have to work today :-( and I'm waiting for Leah to get out of the shower. I probably should get dressed and such. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, I'd gladly hear about your life instead of mine. Oh and Lizzy, I would call, but when is the best time to call?? lol
~Don't let success go to your head and failure go to your heart..."

A new day.....?

Dang, where did I leave off? Yesterday we went down to the Old Mill district instead of on the hike that we were so fervently bent on going. Walked around the shops and then came back home. We had Larea over (so she went with us) and then she did her homework for accounting, while the rest of us sat around doing random things. I went to bed pretty early so I wasn't bored. This morning I got up and talked to mom a bit before meeting and we're thinking maybe we'll just leave dad and Leah at home and go on a vacation, ha, sounds good to me. Neither of them want to go anywhere, so....I didn't really feel that great this morning (felt a bit sick) but I went to meeting anyway and everything just seemed to hit me there. But it was good to go. Afterward I talked to Rich and that was nice. We then went out to Chan's and then got home and took naps. Seems like the thing to do on Sundays. The day of rest right?? Leah went to meeting this afternoon and yeah. Now we have a house full of people and I am briefly hiding out in my room along with the cats who are scared to death of little kids, ha. Tuesday we have no school or work and I am thrilled!!! I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow, but that is the way it goes. Who the heck just walked through our door....I gotta go see. Ha it's Phillis our long lost friend. ANYWAY, so I wish I could talk to one of my friends about some things....but it's a pretty close circle and I wouldn't want to shock anyone or....who knows what. Family will have to do. I think I like un-public journals just for the fact that no one reads it--so I will probably be writing in that one too, though who cares right? I think Larea will probably be spending the night again tonight, that will be fun. And yeah, my thoughts are really scattered tonight, got some collecting to do. I think I'll go hang out with the bums in the kitchen.
~When my heart is heavy burdened and I cannot understand, what I have no power over I will leave in Jesus hands..."

Life as I know it......(this title inspired by Leah, the dork standing next to me :-)).....

Today, what to say about today? I got to talk to a friend yesterday and it was really great to talk to her. Where did I leave off from yesterday? Well, I went to work yesterday--it was sooo slow! Then went to the gym for 45 minutes while Leah went to her class. I'm stoked, I'm getting my muscle back!!! lol, I know I'm retarded, but I'd rather have muscle than be a wimpy thing. But anyway, we got home and grandma and grandpa were here playing "settlers" with mom. I'm not sure what I found to do, but it was something. I read a couple books last night....talked to a few friends, practiced the piano until mom told me to stop because they were watching a show. Other then that, not to much. Today mom is hoping to go to the obsidian flows to go hiking and who knows what else we'll end up doing. More and more my spiritual problem is popping up in which I try to ignore. Probably not the best idea. I'm pretty ashamed of it anyway, ignoring it seems like the thing to do right now, but it's not what I should be doing about it. Ah! So there is that. I'll not really go in that direction on here. If you ever get a hold of my actual journal you'll know the whole story, ha. But there is no way I will post it's entirety here. Anyway, I don't really have to much to say today, later :-)
~Help me to look to thee, when I am tried...."

Interesting stuff.....

I left off where I finally took a shower yesterday. After that...what did I do? Leah went on a bike ride with a friend at about 5 o'clock and didn't show up at home even 2 hours later. Mom was getting a bit worried and I wanted to drive the car, so we headed out the door. Though she drove at first. We finally grew brains and called dad so he could look up their phone # and we got a hold of Leah. So, once the initial worry was taken care of, we went to the gas station. Leah was to nervous to put gas in the car all day, so it was on empty. Well, the guy there was really friendly and there was a new guy learning stuff. Also there was another dude/person/man, whatever you wanna call him (there's just alot of men at a gas station) and he needed a jump (for his car, haha, I know). We stayed there for a bit and the new guy was collecting trash. Haha, he was looking at me and I looked over and he had the biggest grin on his face, lol, it was hilarious! So, I just smiled back and he still kept looking at me so I turned to talk to mom. Anyway, we finally left the station and then went to Shopko. Mom apparently ruined her hook for the bathroom towels so she was looking for a new one, but you know mothers, they always get side tracked. I don't know how long we stayed in the store--though I don't mind going with mom to much. I get to pick on her and we get to laughing, so it's all good. Though I swear, sometimes she needs blinders....like the ones you get for horses, haha. Well, I got to drive around town after that, jolting and all. I actually was doing better than I thought I would, though mom might not agree. Got home, sat down to watch "Little Women" and yeah. Trying to think of what else I did. It was pretty late anyway....This morning Leah is once again taking me to school and I really should be getting ready to go. Ha, though I guess this guy that Leah hung out with, his friend liked me in school (not sure if he still does) though he was to shy to do anything. Man, I get all the shy ones haha. I thought that was amusing anyway. Oh right, somewhere in there last night I tried to call a few people, one wasn't there and the other endured my talking for a short while and then didn't really feel like talking. Totally ok, I know how that goes (plus I babble on a lot, so it's no fun talking when I run in circles, sorry! ha). Anywho, I should get going....
~How time flies.....

Olay olay olay olay......

Okiday, my grammar is going to get worse as we go. Let's see, last night I went to meeting--Leah drove. There was a lot of things that were spoken that had been on my mind that morning and things that I knew were for Leah. My ears kind of perked up when I heard some of the things. But anyway, lately I have been feeling like somewhat of a hypocrite. I give my testimony on Sundays, but I don't feel like I am living it. I sit in Wednesday night meeting and sometimes barely hear what is spoken. There are things I need to work on, attitudes towards people and some things. I talk to dad last night too--about meeting that is--though I don't think him being drugged made much of a difference (he had a surgery on his shoulder). Anyway, it was an interesting conversation none-the-less, but I was talking to mom this morning and some of the things just didn't make much sense to her. It's nice to talk to mom and dad. Dad for the deeper conversations and mom to bring you out of the fog that you've somehow gotten lost in. I don't know....last night with Leah at meeting it felt weird--like she never left--but weird that still there was that gap. When she stopped going to meeting we weren't as close and I've had this...attitude (?) toward her ever since. For one, I feel like I'm failing left and right: driver's license, meeting, friendships/relationships (whatever you wanna call them), and school. Though it's not like I'm going to give up on any of them, I just need to keep a clear head and endure--or press on. So, I got off on a tangent there. This morning Leah took me to school and I went to my gym class and then to my sociology class where I took an exam. I don't actually think I did to bad, but we will see. I was pretty much dead on my feet when I got home, so I ate lunch and crawled into bed. And low and behold--my phone rings! Haha, I don't think I was very awake for that short conversation and I was probably a bit loud. Anywho, I slept for about 3-4 hours I think and then finally got up and took a shower. Felt soooo good!! There is my day so far. I was stressed last night, knowing that I had to write an essay for class (still have to) so instead I started writing another story. I don't know how many I've started and not finished. Ah well, we'll see if I can keep writing it.
~The night is darkest just before the dawn..."

I have no title for this one.....

Obama won the presidential election. Sure he might not have been the person a lot of people voted for, but keep in mind he is who won and give him a chance at least. I for one am very happy all this campaigning is over! I got to sleep in this morning (praise!) lol and I finally got a hold of that company that was taking a substantial amount of money from my bank account. They plan on refunding my money and canceled my account!!!! Other than that, I still have 11 days till I try for my license again and that is about all for my worries. The week is just getting better for me, spiffing! Though I do have an essay to write, a couple chapters to read, a study guide, an exam tomorrow....let's see, anything else? Since I went to dinner at the Wilson's last night I didn't get anything done. It was pretty funny though, we were sitting around talking and all the sudden we hear cheering from next door (for Obama). Either way, I didn't really care after a while--about who got it. I mean sure, I can see both sides, why some people did or didn't vote for Obama. There are some things that I don't agree with that Obama is looking to change, but I honestly think that he is determined to turn this country around (for the better hopefully). I'm just going to wait and see what happens. No use in getting excited over these kinds of things. So that's done, my money is going back into my account, I am doing fine in school (the term is halfway over!!), and I will soon get my drivers license (knock on wood). Other than that, this morning I read something someone wrote--I used to go to school with this guy--and it was so great to read it. Really I needed that this morning and it got me to thinking about different verses in the bible that I have read and conventions I've gone to and different messages that I have heard. It was really encouraging to me to think and read about that. Anyway, I have different emails to reply to, so I will check in later
~Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also...."
"The Lord is my sheperd...."

'Ello, all you non sleep deprived people......

Ha, for those of you who read about yesterday, I was not trying to flirt with that older guy and he was flirting with mom and Leah mostly....I tried to stay out of it. Though good grief he was sure having a good time. Anyway, I am exhausted and waiting for mom to get off work. Spent three hours upstairs shifting books after going to my "bootcamp" class (basically an aerobics class for the we men, ha) and my sociology class. Oh what fun. Leah got to stay home today and I think she dropped her Writing 121/122 class, so she no longer has to bug me about it. Ugh, this is what I get when I wake up at 4:30 to talk to someone (technically they called me and sure I didn't have to answer, but why be rude? lol, yeah that makes sense, when they were the ones calling me at that time....). Anywho, as for anything else that pops into mind--I got nada.
~You're a greenhorn, you'll get killed out here!...."

A better morning.....

This morning was a whole lot better for me. Course it is snowing here at the college and I am wearing flip flops, but everything has cooled off--in the way of yesterdays events. Doesn't take long. I turned in my ballot and I have class in about 30 minutes. Julie offered to go out driving with me until my next test, so I am happy about that. She's sweet and I really appreciate her letting me drive and such. Yeah, today feels great so far. I'll be going to two classes today and then working (though I'm not scheduled to work today) and finishing the day with a piano lesson. Oh and tonight from 5-8pm at Ben and Jerry's you get free icecream in celebration for the election, lol mom wants to go. This morning it was actually kind of nice to talk to someone on the phone--though it was a bit early, like 5:00 early haha. I was actually thinking about helping mom's boss out with cleaning up her yard, since she needs help with it. So, yes, today is a good day so far :-).
~Oh what happy hour...."

What a day.....

I just got off the phone with someone asking who I was voting for and if I would vote for a specific person. Haha, we had a great laugh about that one. She asked "are you voting for Judy something or other?" My reply: "I haven't filled in that bubble yet." Well, needless to say, we all bust up laughing over here and I couldn't talk at all. I'm thinking about doing a heads/tails flip for the presidential candidate--already did the iny-miny-mini-mo....lol, I am so intelligent. At this point I just needed a laugh for the day. Starting at the being: I woke up at 4 this morning and couldn't fall back to sleep, so I got up at 5 or 6 and got ready to leave (we decided to practice a bit more for the driving test). Well then I went to the college and practiced the piano for about 2 hours. The benches are just dandy, if you sit on them correctly the broken legs will collapse....though maybe that's a sign, ha. Anyway, after that I went to work and I have a lazy ass lady to work with. So I got to finish her work and she sat on the computer and emailed people and talked on im. Complete bull, but the day gets better! I finished with the work and got off early (more practicing time). We then proceeded to the DMV and flirting ensued with this man that is probably older than mom...quite funny. Older men are always up for some kind of flirting. Anyway, Leah went first on her test and got back with a smile on her face. I was determined to not know what she got, so I went to the car and got in the front seat and then heard mom squeal and I could only assume that Leah passed. I thought, "if Leah can pass it, I definitely can!" It started out well, I was nervous, yada yada--but in the end, the verdict--not so great. Lol, really jeez!!!! So, in 14 days I get to go back and flirt with the same guy, new instructor and pass this bliming thing! Trust me, I was banging my head and beating myself up, it was simple human error and I AH! Once again, dang it. Though those weren't the exact words I could think of at the time. Hard music is good for such times. But man! So, anyway, that is how that went. I was so sure I would pass and look what happened!! I had some steam to blow off, so I went jogging in the rain, got back and took a shower and THEN found out a company that was unauthorized to do so, was taking money out of my bank account. I'm talking 100 bucks!! So, we figured that s*** out and yeah. That ballet stuff was fun to do though, gave me a laugh and I am now not so bummed about the driving test. Just gotta haul my butt back in there and try again! So, learning experience none the less. I am ready for bed or some good jokes. And, oh! what?? I have homework to do, woopy. Jeez!!!
~Life is like a box of chocolates, ya never know what you're gonna get...."

Sunday Afternoons.....

Alrighty, well yesterday I spent most of it doing homework and practicing the piano and spending time with the bums around here. Though....I kind of forgot how to play some of the scales, so ehem...I'll have to spend more time on those this next lesson. This morning we got an extra hour cause of the time change, wonderful stuff! Earlier I was kind of panicked about what to do on the whole car situation (renting and whatnot for the driving test) but Julie I think is going to lend hers. Stoked! That saves me money and we'll be able to drive it without worrying about the insurance and everything (don't worry Julie, I wont crash your car, knock on wood). So, I am determined tomorrow to get the stupid license!! Anyway, that is taken care of, now I have to finish my homework and clean my room so I don't trip trying to get out of it. This morning I sort of helped mom with the roast that she was cooking and then we went to meeting. As always it's definitely what I needed, correction and all. Actually yesterday morning we had a study--usually I like to read alone, but it was good. I think I might have already said something about this. It was in Revelations anyway. We then had Julie, Rachel, and Rich over for lunch and they are all now conked out in the living room. Guess it's a popular thing to do around here. Other than that, not much is going on. It's raining and is going to rain for the next week--plus snow, so I have to get on buying spikes for my shoes. Oh dang, I also have to vote. Personally I will be glad when this whole presidential candidate business is over. Dad said that if Obama won that he would temporarily forget the pain in his shoulder, haha. Hmmm hmmm, no brainy insight today, though I'm sure later I may think of something, until then......
~Until then, stay the course...."

Haha, since this is to long for the 'About me'

I love to be spontaneous, to live out my days with fun and laughter, though life can’t always be peaches and cream. Some people just have a harder time with it than others. I think it is great when you really get to talk to someone, but you can’t always have deep thinking conversations, they would get exhausting. And sometimes I just get so absorbed in my own mind. I love to make people laugh, I’m sarcastic as hell sometimes, but I can be understanding (when you don’t drive me insane). I wish I had more patience—sometimes I don’t do to bad with that, though I am insecure about things here and there. As was pointed out I sometimes feel like I am not accepted by my friends; that if they like Leah better there is no room for me. To some that sounds totally….pick a word, but I think it is a twin thing. Another thing, I refrain from saying things because I don’t want to sound stupid, I care way to much about whether people will accept me or not because I don’t think I am really that interesting of a person. I don’t accept complements very well and am always surprised when I get them. I guess I have the normal insecurities that teenagers do and usually I’m not really to focused on them, unless someone else points them out and makes fun of me in one way or the other. Don’t get me wrong, teasing is fun—but some things I just don’t take as a joke. I am way to sensitive for my own good and unless you say no is no or there is no way this or that is going to happen then I wont drop it until I get an answer or it passes. Like going to the beach when I was younger: I would ask mom if we were going to go and she would say maybe. Well you know kids--that just doesn’t fly most of the time. They need a straight answer or they won’t give up. Great, now I am comparing myself to a kid, ah well. I would ask tons of questions—but hey that’s where the broken record comes in. So hmm…I like to be around people, but I like to take some time off to let my brain rest. I love to be around kids because they are fun to be around and laugh easily, not to mention chatter as fast as they can think. I like talking to older people (anyone older than me) because some make you think outside the box. They bring up different subjects and have great stories to tell and they usually have some kind of advice or insight. I don’t really feel comfortable talking to kids my own age sometimes, not sure why, but it is what it is. I like to read alone, though usually I’m not disappointed when you can get me to read with other people. Some of the things I do say I say to get a reaction out of people. I hate to look into someone’s eyes and the stare is completely blank, might as well shock ‘em. I am nice, I like to help out when I can (though yes, sometimes I am a lazy ass), I over think things, I worry about others (meaning other things), I’m confusing as heck as well as annoying, I’m curious, I like straight answers and honesty, I usually know what I want and if I want it enough I will work for it, otherwise you wont see any results in that area, I’m passionate about things, I love to try different/new things, I’m scared as heck that I will end up this lifeless being that has nothing to live for and I don’t want to have….never mind that thought, I just want to make the best of the life I have. When I put in the effort for something I expect the same back. Like in a project I did at school. I totally loved the project we were doing, so I put a lot of effort into it and since I knew that no one else really felt like that I worked alone. I guess I like the same commitment, though that’s not always the case. Sometimes I can be hard on people, but I usually realize when I’ve gone too far and try to set things right again. I hate to argue and when I do argue I’d rather get it all out and settled and move on. There’s no point in leaving something to fester. I’m a big dreamer and if I let those run away with me I swear I’d be going in circles. Well, can you tell that I’m an open person? I like to talk, but sometimes it is way to exhausting. Sometimes I like to be alone—to just have the silence around me, but for the rest of the time I love to be around people. When I was younger I thought I could live without human interaction most of the time and I didn’t care much (mom was worried I’d become a hermit), but as I get older I find that most of the time I like to be surrounded by life. I just wish there were more friends to be around. I really never get tired of people’s company…though there are few that I find are somewhat fake, and their presence can be somewhat exhausting. Like when you go in for picture day or you are told to smile, if it’s not genuine you start to wonder when the whole thing will be over and you can stop pretending. But when you are with your friends, family, or just someone that makes you laugh, you don’t care if your cheeks hurt from smiling to much and you feel…happy. Yes, don’t I sound so optimistic? Generally I am optimistic, but sometimes I just have a lot of dry humor. And I should be going to bed. There is a lot more to me, but you’ll just have to realize that for yourself.

November!!!

Ok, so it is another day--let me change the font. Any better?? ha that works. Anyway, so yesterday finished off with, well getting off work. Work was fun though, none of us was really on task, but there wasn't much to do. Someone brought in a bucket load of candy and some people dressed up, but we sat around talking for the last half of my shift. It's great to get to know new people! Anywho, I got off work and we went to pick up our vacuum, but the guy who is supposed to fix it is apparently a procrastinator because he didn't get it finished. Then we went to the bank, back home, and then to the chiropractor's office. Hah, he's always saying I should cut my hair so it isn't in his way, well one day I might just bring in the scissors. Actually not, but it is very tempting sometimes to just be rid of it. Continuing.....we went back home, Gail Toci came over and mom and her went out to dinner. Leah was begging me to walk downtown with her, but hey, it was my turn to be the party pooper. So, we stayed home and mom, dad, and Gail got back and started to watch a movie. Dad wanted to get a scary one (it being Halloween and all) so I went with him to make sure he didn't get an outrageous one. Well, for about a good 45 minutes or so we stood in the aisle looking at scary movies. I'm not much of a fan of scary movies, so I said no to mostly all of them. Haha, I remember going to see a scary movie with Phil and Shawna--I got stuck sitting in the middle and a scary part came up and both Shawna and Phil grabbed a hold of me at the same time (not to scare me, but to TRY to shield themselves from the movie, ha that didn't work to well). So, in the mean time they scared me half to death and ended up with a good laugh. Anyway back to the present, got back home, they watched the scary movie and I went on the computer and then went to bed. End of story. I did get invited to go to the haunted corn maze, but as I said, I'm not much of a fan of being scared to death. Also got invited to go to the Foner's haunted forest thing, but had no way of getting there, oh well, that's what I get for not driving. Though Gail did bring over some bubbly and she let us try it (more like half a glass of it). I'm really not to fond of the effects wine has on me. Maybe that was half the reason I tripped over dad's foot in the parking lot, though I am quite a cluts anyway....I slept in till 8 this morning and really didn't do much. We had a bible study--usually I like to read on my own, but I'm never disappointed when I read with other people. We didn't get to finish the study because Richy Rich called and is here now to pick up the leaves. I really need a shower, but I'm not gonna hop in with Leah thank you. Anyway, I'm sure this is WAY long enough and people might not even get to the end of it, but I'll write later.....probably later today :-)
~He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose..."