Haha, since this is to long for the 'About me'

I love to be spontaneous, to live out my days with fun and laughter, though life can’t always be peaches and cream. Some people just have a harder time with it than others. I think it is great when you really get to talk to someone, but you can’t always have deep thinking conversations, they would get exhausting. And sometimes I just get so absorbed in my own mind. I love to make people laugh, I’m sarcastic as hell sometimes, but I can be understanding (when you don’t drive me insane). I wish I had more patience—sometimes I don’t do to bad with that, though I am insecure about things here and there. As was pointed out I sometimes feel like I am not accepted by my friends; that if they like Leah better there is no room for me. To some that sounds totally….pick a word, but I think it is a twin thing. Another thing, I refrain from saying things because I don’t want to sound stupid, I care way to much about whether people will accept me or not because I don’t think I am really that interesting of a person. I don’t accept complements very well and am always surprised when I get them. I guess I have the normal insecurities that teenagers do and usually I’m not really to focused on them, unless someone else points them out and makes fun of me in one way or the other. Don’t get me wrong, teasing is fun—but some things I just don’t take as a joke. I am way to sensitive for my own good and unless you say no is no or there is no way this or that is going to happen then I wont drop it until I get an answer or it passes. Like going to the beach when I was younger: I would ask mom if we were going to go and she would say maybe. Well you know kids--that just doesn’t fly most of the time. They need a straight answer or they won’t give up. Great, now I am comparing myself to a kid, ah well. I would ask tons of questions—but hey that’s where the broken record comes in. So hmm…I like to be around people, but I like to take some time off to let my brain rest. I love to be around kids because they are fun to be around and laugh easily, not to mention chatter as fast as they can think. I like talking to older people (anyone older than me) because some make you think outside the box. They bring up different subjects and have great stories to tell and they usually have some kind of advice or insight. I don’t really feel comfortable talking to kids my own age sometimes, not sure why, but it is what it is. I like to read alone, though usually I’m not disappointed when you can get me to read with other people. Some of the things I do say I say to get a reaction out of people. I hate to look into someone’s eyes and the stare is completely blank, might as well shock ‘em. I am nice, I like to help out when I can (though yes, sometimes I am a lazy ass), I over think things, I worry about others (meaning other things), I’m confusing as heck as well as annoying, I’m curious, I like straight answers and honesty, I usually know what I want and if I want it enough I will work for it, otherwise you wont see any results in that area, I’m passionate about things, I love to try different/new things, I’m scared as heck that I will end up this lifeless being that has nothing to live for and I don’t want to have….never mind that thought, I just want to make the best of the life I have. When I put in the effort for something I expect the same back. Like in a project I did at school. I totally loved the project we were doing, so I put a lot of effort into it and since I knew that no one else really felt like that I worked alone. I guess I like the same commitment, though that’s not always the case. Sometimes I can be hard on people, but I usually realize when I’ve gone too far and try to set things right again. I hate to argue and when I do argue I’d rather get it all out and settled and move on. There’s no point in leaving something to fester. I’m a big dreamer and if I let those run away with me I swear I’d be going in circles. Well, can you tell that I’m an open person? I like to talk, but sometimes it is way to exhausting. Sometimes I like to be alone—to just have the silence around me, but for the rest of the time I love to be around people. When I was younger I thought I could live without human interaction most of the time and I didn’t care much (mom was worried I’d become a hermit), but as I get older I find that most of the time I like to be surrounded by life. I just wish there were more friends to be around. I really never get tired of people’s company…though there are few that I find are somewhat fake, and their presence can be somewhat exhausting. Like when you go in for picture day or you are told to smile, if it’s not genuine you start to wonder when the whole thing will be over and you can stop pretending. But when you are with your friends, family, or just someone that makes you laugh, you don’t care if your cheeks hurt from smiling to much and you feel…happy. Yes, don’t I sound so optimistic? Generally I am optimistic, but sometimes I just have a lot of dry humor. And I should be going to bed. There is a lot more to me, but you’ll just have to realize that for yourself.